Avoiding self-sabotage

Recognize thoughts like: "there's something wrong with me. I'm not worth it. This isn't worth it. Nobody's going to like me. I'm never going to like myself. Why should I even show up?

If you find yourself thinking thoughts like this it's time to write all your thoughts out onto a piece of paper, and schedule a 1:1 coaching session with Ellen.

another form of self-sabotage - is expecting to get a different result with the same actions or inactions.

Journal Prompt: what does this bring up for you?

what emotion do you feel when you think these thoughts?

Are they motivating to help you achieve your goal?

Or are they driving urges, inaction, and other negative consequence things?

I want you to notice these things without self-judgment. We are simply trying to understand how our thoughts are creating our result. so we can have more clarity on what thoughts we want to deliberately think, and which thoughts raise a red flag for us to do some thought work, so we can get out of our own way.

Deciding What To Think

"I'm deciding what to think when I don't meet my expectation" The definition of failure is the omission of expected or required action.

When I think of failure this way I realize

I merely didn't do something. The reason that I only lost x amount of weight was simply because of an omission of action on my part. I can do it differently next time."

When you think about it this way, the failure experience doesn't feel so bad. It makes me want to learn and grow and try it again. Can you see that I'm the one that's determining how failure will affect me?

Success is one of those things that's acquired by failure and by being willing to fail. There's a wonderful quote that goes, "If you want success, you need to double your rate of failure." I believe in that because I think that the better you get at failing, the more willing you are going to be to do it, the more you are going to learn, and the better you are going to get at meeting your expectations.

Journaling prompt:

What does "willing to fail" mean to me?

What does doubling down on your rate of failure apply to the changes you are seeking in the moment?

There's a Difference!

The difference between people that succeed and people that don’t succeed is people that take responsibility for the "how" and understand that failure is part of the process. People that don’t take responsibility for the "how" quit when they fail because they think the process doesn’t work.

For example, I can tell you how to ride a bike, I can tell you how to drive a car, but you’re still not going to know how to do it until you do it wrong a lot until you get it right.

The difference between someone who gets "there" and someone who doesn’t get "there" is the person that doesn’t get "there" quits. The person who gets "there" doesn’t quit. That’s it.

Understanding failure can help you get "there" with less pain.

The real reason why we're avoiding "missing the mark" or "not meeting our expectation" is that we don't want to feel what we're going to feel when that (missing the mark..etc thought) happens.

So we FAIL AHEAD OF TIME to avoid future possible failure.

you are not alone my friend, we all do this. remember, it's just our brain keeping us safe. it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, or your brain. it means it's perfect and doing its job!

Daily Journal Prompt:

What comes up for you when you hear this?